Where have I been?!?!

It feels like an eternity since I’ve shared a piece of my world here. A lot has transpired in the past month, a whirlwind of emotions and experiences that have shaped my perspective.

The excitement of planning my workshop on Fat Liberation, Pleasure, and Kink was palpable. It was a dream come true, a chance to create a safe space for individuals to explore their sexuality without judgment. However, the rug was pulled out from under me when the venue unexpectedly denied our request. The rejection felt like a personal attack, questioning my worth and the importance of the work I do.

Amidst the disappointment, my husband’s unwavering support became a lifeline. He encouraged me to take a much-needed break, a vacation to recharge and refocus. Initially, I resisted, fearing neglect of my business, but the allure of escape eventually won.

The salty breeze and rhythmic waves were therapeutic. As I walked along the shore, I began to process the emotional turmoil. The vacation wasn’t just about relaxation; it was a journey of self-discovery. I realized the importance of prioritizing my mental health and setting boundaries.

Returning home, I’m determined to rebuild and redefine my path. I’m exploring new avenues, forging new connections, and staying true to my mission. It won’t be easy, but with each step, I’m gaining strength and resilience.

To regain momentum, I focused on strengthening my online presence. This included writing product reviews, promoting my burlesque involvement in my local community and being part of Sex Down South, and sharing inspiring content. As I engaged with the community, I began to question my long-term goals and the direction of my business.

A pivotal moment came when I shared my desire for a mentor who could guide me through overcoming internalized fatphobia and embracing pleasure. A friend’s simple response, “Why not you?” was a wake-up call. It ignited a realization: there’s a genuine need for someone like me in this space.

I’m passionate about empowering Fat Femmes to embrace their bodies, explore their sexuality, and find joy. With the support of incredible mentors, I’ve gained the knowledge and skills to guide others on this journey. It’s challenging work, but the potential to create positive change is incredibly rewarding. I’m committed to sharing my experiences and inspiring others to take those first steps towards self-love and pleasure.

I am also excited to share some recent highlights! Performing as a burlesque kitten at Sid’s Gold was an incredible experience. Rebuilding my dance confidence has been a journey, and I’m thrilled to be taking the stage again this fall.

I’m honored to be returning as Dungeon Director for The Labyrinth at the Sex Down South Conference. Creating a safe, inclusive space for exploration is a passion of mine. I’ve also been invited to teach my workshop, “Honoring the Fat, Loving, Sensual Body and Treating it like a Temple,” once again. I’m excited to share new insights and tools with attendees. Use the code MSK24 for a discount! Just use the code when you go to www.SexDownSouth.Com and click on buy ticket. You can put the code in the discount box.

Beyond these professional milestones, I’ve made significant strides in my personal well-being. With the support of a fantastic healthcare team, I’ve been focusing on mental health and self-care.

To wrap up, I’m thrilled to announce my involvement in Betty Vou Plait’s burlesque show, ‘Sugar N the Candy Kingdom,’ as the Bubblegum guard. It’s a fantastic opportunity to support a fellow artist and be part of such a creative project. Here is the link to grab your tickets: https://bettyvouplait.ticketspice.com/sugar-n-the-candy-kingdom.

Additionally, I’m excited to share that I’ll be a Starship Ambassador, providing reviews of products for Fat Femmes. Use the code MSK2024 for a discount!

I’m truly grateful for the opportunities to grow and connect with my community. Let’s celebrate body neutrality, being Fat Femmes, enjoying and receiving pleasure, and empowerment together!

Confessions of using my first Clit suction toy

Hi Folx! It’s your friendly neighborhood sex and body acceptance coach, MsK and I have a confession to make. I have never used a clit suction toy in my life. To be honest I was kind of scared to try one since I didn’t know if I would like it or not. However, Starship, www.starship.com, who is sponsoring this review, decided to send me the Calypso to see what the fuss is all about. And as you know they are a well-known Sex Health and Wellness company which is located in Georgia with 8 locations around the Atlanta area and one location in East Tennessee in East Ridge. They offer discreet packing, free shipping over $50.00, secure online ordering, and of course have high standards when it comes to your privacy. 

So the Calypso is a clit suction and vibrating insertable toy. It’s made of silicone and does come with a USB charging cord so you don’t have to worry about buying extra batteries. This device is water-proof, compatible with water lube, 10 levels of vibration and 7 levels of suctions. There are two buttons on the front of the device. The top one controls the suction and the bottom one controls the vibrator. And the most important thing I was looking for as a Fat Femme was if this was for me and would I recommend it as a pleasure device to others. 

 I want to make sure that as a Fat Femme can enjoy and be easy to work with. I look to see if I can hold the toy in my hand, if I can get to the buttons to control the device easily, is it hard to grip, does it give me pleasure and not complicated. And if there are some problems when it comes to handling the device to make sure there is an easy work around so I can make sure I get what I want and that is pleasure! So here are the pros and cons with the Calypso.

Here are the pros and cons about the Calypso and what I liked about it and didn’t like about it. First off, it was easy to charge up. It took less than an hour to do so for me. It didn’t feel icky like other devices I have used in the past when I used my usual water lube. The vibrating insertable part of the toy was great and surprisingly felt great on a low setting. It didn’t overwhelm me and bring me to orgasm fast. The clit suction was amazing once I got used to it. The effects of how it snuck on me was interesting. It almost felt like I was being teased and I discovered that the higher the suction, the better it felt and stayed on my clit. When it was set on a lower setting, I barely noticed it was there and didn’t stay on my clit. I kept checking to see if it was on it. I also had to ask my husband to check and see if it was in the right place as well.  I was kind of surprised by this because for me normally the higher the setting, the faster I come fast. I did have some problems trying to keep it in place, but discovered a work around it. I used pillows to help me keep it in place. And it also helps if you own a wedge pillow which makes it better to get into a better position to keep it in and enjoy yourself. I was able to get into an angle where the device stayed in place and I could easily reach the buttons to control the suction and the vibrations. This made my experience more pleasurable. 

As far as pleasure concerns, Calypso delivers with some modifications. The insertable vibrator is great and feels good on the G Spot. As far as the suction on your clit, you may need to start high and then slowly down to see what is a good feel for you for getting off. And as I mention, making modifications such as positioning the device, using props such as pillows or a pillow wedge is a must for us Fat Femmes when it comes to our pleasure. Plus I am realizing that my fear of clit suction devices were unfounded and want to try more suction toys. It really felt good once I got in the zone.  And as always, if you use my discount code, MSK2024, you will get a helping hand in purchasing a toy like this. 

#StarshipAmbassador #Self-pleasure #FatFemmePleasure

When your self-care looks different from other’s self-care

  Self-care can look different for everyone. For some, it could be a mini-vacation or spa day. Others could be a walk in the park or reading a novel at your favorite spot.  For example,  my husband is cleaning the house and keeping it clean. He explained that this keeps his anxiety down and his mental self intact. I know this is a struggle for him since he has been taking on more as the provider in our household. This brings him peace and insight into what he needs to care for around the house and himself. It means taking my meds and getting the rest I need, especially on bad pain days. This past week with the change in weather and doing a lot of driving for my side gig, which doesn’t help. So on Saturday, I got up and felt like shit. I didn’t have a lot of energy and realized I should have slept in. When I mentioned this, A told me to go back to bed. I said I couldn’t because I had a lot of things to work on and around the house. His reply to what I said is something I haven’t heard from him; you can be lazy and still productive. If your body is tired, rest and my to-do list can wait. He also added that I can’t be productive either if I am tired and don’t take care of myself. So I took my ass back to bed and slept for another 4 to 5 hours. I woke up and found his text saying that lunch was in the fridge, and he was out with kiddo at the park. This reminds us that we need some self-care and make time for it, or else we can’t be there for our family and friends.

      Self-care is whatever makes you happy and comfortable. It is the energy you can put into taking care of yourself. It makes you feel recharged and able to do what you need to do. It can be as simple as paying bills or taking a long bath with your favorite bubble bath or bath bomb. Dancing in your living room to a song from your teens or a kid show your kids watch. (Don’t judge me; Yo Gabba Gabba was a bomb to watch when my daughter was younger.). It can be as simple as making a small breakfast so you will not feel bad later in the day. Each of these things can bring you joy and that you are taking care of yourself. If it does not have to be expensive, outlandish, or doesn’t satisfy your soul. You are more than that.

      So please take time for self-care and remind your loved ones to do the same. Again it doesn’t have to be what you see on TV or what you see your favorite artist or actor doing as a method of self-care. Self-care is all about you. So take care of yourself and then take care of the rest.

And a reminder that I hope you live a delicious life of love, new adventures and that I am proud of you!

P.S. I would love to hear what you do for yourself as a form of self-care or what you want to try. I can’t wait to see what you have to say!

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